Wallflowers
Wallflowers is an organization dedicated to tackling the loneliness epidemic. We know that making friends can be intimidating, and that clubs and sports teams often revolve around specific interests or cliques that are tricky to break into.
At Wallflowers, we put people first. We offer an anonymous, judgment-free community for anyone who wants to connect with others and develop social confidence. Our members meet weekly to participate in activities, attend group outings, and dive into the fascinating science of connection. Sometimes it takes friends to make friends, which is why Wallflowers helps you build the momentum.
Our Mission
"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day."
Dalai Lama
What do we do?
1. Weekly Meetings: Wallflowers meetings are held weekly. They’re a time to share stories, participate in activities, and explore the science of human connection through guest speakers and book reviews. Oh, we drink plenty of coffee, too.
2. Outings: We organize hikes, bike rides, beach days, study sessions, trips to the movies, and mixers. We’d also be stoked to try out any ideas you have for other activities.
3. Community Service: Many of our outings are focused on community service. Not only does it help others, but working together toward a shared goal brings people closer and builds real connections.
4. Casual Hangouts: Group chats are a stellar way to organize casual hangouts. Bored on a Friday night? Check our Discord: there’s someone who wants to play video games and another who wants to hit the clubs.
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Contact is the simplest, yet often the most challenging pillar to overcome. Everyone, no matter how experienced, feels intimidated to join something new. Contact starts at your first meeting, when you make a conscious choice to enter a social environment, and although daunting, it’s the first step in joining any community.
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Many of the most successful, sociable business executives seek coaching to refresh how they connect and communicate. Why can’t we do the same? During our weekly meetings, we spend 15-20 minutes discussing the science of connection. Whether it’s bringing in body language experts or social psychologists, reviewing books such as Supercommunicators, The Laws of Human Nature, or Thinking Fast and Slow, or learning principles of meditation, we are all about exploring the fascinating world of human relationships.
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Social skills require practice, and can be temporarily lost when we don’t use them enough. Wallflowers offers a space to just hang out, and while you’re here, you’ll meet new people through various activities and outings. Practice makes perfect, and the more time you spend chatting, the better and more confident you get. We have meetings and guest speakers, yes, but we’re a community before anything else.
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Our philosophy is that everyone can socialize, but it can be challenging without adequate momentum. Many students are closed off to making new friends, or are suspicious of those who try; it’s the paradox of “you often need friends to make friends”, which is why Wallflowers provides a safe space to build social traction.
Four Pillars
Leadership
Meetings, activities, and community service events are organized by our delightful leadership team: Alex, Anthony, Maxine, and Sirus. Although some of us may be social butterflies now, it wasn’t always that way. At some point in our lives, we’ve each struggled with feeling disconnected, but it has motivated us to help others overcome this challenge. Now we’re building a community that we can’t wait for you to be a part of.
FAQ
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What happens at a typical meeting?
Introductions (5m) - Opening statements and announcements
Development (15m) - A time for learning new skills, whether from a guest speaker or a member, focused on developing our social approach.
Sharing (10m) - An opportunity for individuals to share a story with other Wallflowers.
Break (5m) - Coffee and treats.
Activities (30m) - Team-building and social activities, allowing members to grow closer with one another.
Closing (5m) - Closing statements.
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Am I required to speak at my first meeting?
Short Answer
No. Until you feel comfortable, feel free to kick your feet up and listen.
Long Answer
Wallflowers are welcome to participate in Experience Sharing at any time, although there is no expectation as to when, if ever. For individuals who feel intimidated by the Activities portion of the meeting, we suggest listening during the first half and making a quiet exit during the break. Once you are comfortable, you can join in on our social activities.
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Who joins Wallflowers? Will I be a good fit?
Short Answer
If you’re interested in making friends, building a community, and refining your approach to connection, then yes!
Long Answer
Everyone is welcome to join Wallflowers. However, to ensure the anonymity, safety, and peace of our members, individuals interested in joining Wallflowers are encouraged to participate in a 15-minute orientation over Zoom.
How do I become a Wallflower?
Book a 5-minute Zoom orientation with one of our leaders, Sirus Webb!
Not comfortable meeting? Join our Discord instead.
Meet the Creator
Hey, I’m Sirus, a UBC student studying Integrated Sciences with a focus on biochemistry and physiology. I’ve always been curious about humans, flipping from the study of our biomolecules to the boundless science of human connection. In my lifetime, I’ve seen people I care about struggle with social isolation, during times I felt powerless to help. When I couldn’t find adequate support systems for them, I started Wallflowers as a way to help others in my community feel a little less alone and a little more connected.
